Are men really from Mars and women from Venus?

Have often heard the saying, Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. I haven't read the book though, by the title Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus by John Gray. It was always on the back burner and still remains so! May be one day soon I shall grab a copy and read it. In fact ever since the arrival of my lovely kids, my daily habits, hobbies and desires have gone through some drastic changes. Not that I am complaining! Life with spouse and children is completely a different ball game but I haven't really read a good book in the last 6- 7 years. Most of the reading is of the articles, blogs, journals etc. But never a hard core fiction or whatever one can call them.

Also, have heard that, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus but they suffer on Earth!

I am certainly not an expert on the subject but yes I do have a Martian in my life.... actually three if the little Martians can be counted to the list! My first experience with this Martian was when we met for the first time, almost eight years ago. Yes, we liked each other, when we got talking he spoke only his negatives. I wondered how someone couldn't think of anything positive in him, quite contrary to the general expression by most of the men. They try to impress the lady, may be this Martian had marriage on mind so he hit the nail on the head. If it struck it was good otherwise I wan't the one!.... must have been on his mind. It did work and we are married!

Something that I learnt from people in my own friends' circle and not to mention that I kind of deal with the early 20's age group by virtue of my profession, For the last 10 years I have been  teaching the under graduate and post graduate programmes. I also work as a counselor so I have got opportunities to be part of this distinction, helping the people from these two planets to cope with each other. That has been a learning for me. They come with their issues and they bring the solutions as well. I am just the facilitator, may be a sounding board. Its just that I give them my ear and they happily find their own solutions and walk out of my office happy!.... what they do afterwards is again their look out.

What I have experienced is, when you ask a very 'Happening and Eligible' bachelor about his plans to settle down. He is quite uncomfortable with the question and the quick answer is that he doesn't want the commitment, he is rather scared. People, (read it as other Martians) had told him how difficult marriage was and  how awful the inmates of the Venus were. Now, there can't be generalizations. All relationships are different, each one is unique and special in its own way. If X Martian has undergone some experience with Y Venusian (sounds like Venetian blind!) The remaining alphabets won't go through the same. That's logic isn't it? I know at least a handful of such people, how I wish they didn't fall prey to these generalizations.

Just the other day, a girl I know, may be she should be called a spinster, had some doubts in her mind that she wanted to clarify with her women friends. She wanted to know if the person that she was going out with was the one for her. Everyone in a relationship, married or not were advising her. I felt that all relationships were unique and no amount of canvassing would help. There is a saying, "Shaadi ka Laddu, jo khaye woh pashtaye, jo na khaye woh bhi pashtaye". So where does good sense prevail?

Relations are more of understanding, mutual respect and to accept each others differences, as women think differently from men. Men will talk straight and women will look for some emotional 'awe moments' in them. They are genetically designed to read between the lines and they do a lot of that; whereas men will go by what is being said, this can be a little point of difference. It is this point that generally leads to the fall out or may be a break up. Toilet seat can lead to a furore, whether it has to be kept up or down. Life is certainly not that bowl so prioritizing is the key. 

Ten common complaints that are easily misinterpreted (According to John Gray)

Women say things like this	Men respond like this
"We never go out."	"That's not true. We went out last week."
"Everyone ignores me."	"I'm sure some people notice you."
"I am so tired, I can't do anything."	"If you don't like your job, then quit."
"I want to forget everything."	"That's ridiculous."
"The house is always a mess."	"It's not always a mess."
"No one listens to me anymore."	"But I am listening to you right now."
"Nothing is working."	"Are you saying it is my fault?"
"You don't love me anymore."	"Of course I do. That's why I'm here."
"We are always in a hurry."	"We are not. Friday we were relaxed. "
"I want more romance."	"Are you saying I am not romantic”

I am sure all of us at some stage have had these kind of exchanges, can't call them good conversations really isn't it? The other day came across a little not pad left behind my someone. Checked out the contents, there were little notes written here and there and something that caught my attention was the three words ILU and the name of the person written in many different ways. I asked my hubby, how come he never did this, to which he smiled and said that he didn't really know what that meant. Asked me if I would like something like that. I thought to myself not really but yes we 'Venusians' (somehow I am getting used to this word now!) would love to see them once in a while. At heart one never really grows up and these little surprises are a feel-good factor. No matter where we come from, we can't and we shouldn't suffer on earth!

PS

I'll keep with my promise of writing about Abhilash Tomy in my posts till he is back from his historic voyage.

(Abhilash Tomy is attempting to be the first Indian on a solo non stop unassisted circumnavigation of the globe)

Here's one Martian, who has made the Mighty Ocean his home and like a crusader he is gradually scaling his path (say voyage) to creating history for India and the Indian Navy. Found something apt for him and his tribe, 

“There's a race of men that don't fit in,
A race that can't sit still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin, And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain's crest; Their's is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don't know how to rest.”
― Robert W. Service

To know more about Lt. Cdr Tomy and his boat the Mhadei, follow the link below.

Check:  www.sagarparikrama2.blogspot.com

            www.Facebook.com/www.mhadei.co.in

The current position of Mhadei