Home maker or a career woman - As you like it!

Just the other day I was checking my facebook page, was logging in after 4-5 days and had lots to catch up on, as far as updates from friends were concerned. While going through a profile found something that caught my attention and that later made a great discussion. Won't call it a debate as this wasn't face to face and no one was catching anyone else's neck! But the opinions shared by different people indeed were very interesting and that's what led me to write this post. Even before you read it, let me apologise in case it touches a wrong chord with you. But let me also add that some facts are pretty uncomfortable.... we must not turn away from reality right? Now that I have made myself a bit clear (and not to be chewed up by some of my dear friends).... please read on!

No offence meant but am a bit curious, when women who are home-makers write/declare their professions as," Stay at Home Mom and loving it." and similar others.... whereas the ones who are professionally employed do not write, " I am so and so and loving it!" 

Ofcourse, its a tough job especially when the children are younger. Some were quick to say that it was just a cover-up for their insecurity. If the column asked to list their profession, that's all they needed to do. Adding on how they felt about it was petty. It's similar to women announcing how they were proud to be women, as if men were not happy and proud to be who they were!! 

This is plain logical isn't it? But social media is ones own personal space that one wishes to share with his or her friends. 

The point here is why SAHM had expressions such as, " I am loving it, This is the best thing to do and am proud of it, I am my own manager and CEO" are just a few of them. 

Maybe in spite of it being such a tough and responsible job SAHMs really do enjoy it not the same could be said about the others at all times. A friend was quick to add that These were self obsessed words. People often used such vocabulary /content to over shadow their actual roles. Those who do it ,and are not sure if that's what they should be doing use adjectives like these. Whereas the ones who love it stay calm, enjoy and you can see it when sometimes they share the moments of that joy.

A friend who has been a SAHM as well as a full timer on job said, "there is nothing to love about being at home and I speak for myself. You enjoy watching the kids grow alright but there are moments of frustration and of not earning despite being educated. I have always been a happier and more tolerable person whenever I have worked.You can ask my husband and kids".

A more experienced lady had to say this,"Lets not blame them they indeed are trying to prove some point, that they may not be earning money but their SAHM job demands respect and recognition...unfortunately our society is yet to accord them thus. We may consider their tag line 'and am loving it' SHAM but it's an effort to assert their individuality. No offence meant but to see your kids grow in front of you is sheer delight, to wait for them when they get back from school or when your husband gets back home from work may also be a way of life and that too a happy and interesting one! we do get judgemental at times and hence this struggle for identity."

Yes agreed but sometimes staying at home is a privilege that not all can enjoy or afford it. Living in cities and having to deal with the monster of "price rise" it sometimes demands both the husband and wife to take up professional careers to earn their living. A friend who has been a SAHM said that it was a thankless job and some day say it just to convince themselves. 

To each his own I've seen a classic example of someone taking credit for the kids school results by throwing lines like ,"today the benefits of having given up a career and opting to be a SAHM are clearly visible " to a working mom whose child did equally good.

As career women we have to give our 100% everywhere, be it work or at home. Somewhere we still get branded, at work it is said that the women have their family over careers and at home its the other way round. So we need to state and prove our priorities no matter where we have reached in your careers.

As individuals we all have our own insecurities. A stay at home mother may want to validate her decision when she says something like that, similarly a mother with a professional career may want to validate her decision in some other manner. May be the options available for each are different and hence the expression is different. But neither of them need any validation from anyone. There is no need to justify anything. We need a big heart to understand that. Our decisions are our own, it is not a judgement on anyone else-A mother is a mother....simple!

A friend who gave up her career shared this, " I think leaving your job to be a home maker is not an easy task at all especially if you are with your in laws. The only sunny side, to console yourself is that you are taking care of your children as per your plans and are not dependent on anyone. Other wise you are financially so dependent that all your creativity goes for a toss."

You better love what you do, whether SAHM or a working woman! If you do not then CHANGE!! Its not as important to anyone else whether you're "loving it or not!" The best place to be in is, have a choice to the above, power is in choices.

Pictures are taken from google