Sista - let me be your best buddy!

"A woman cannot be another woman's best friend"
~ Who the _________ said this?!

A woman is certainly best friend to another. I've lived that and I say so. Just imagine a world that had no fairer sex how would it be? In fact in my college for the Miss Fresher contest a question asked to me was how would I feel if I was the only woman on the planet? I don't remember what my exact answer was. There was too much going on at that time. Being in the spotlight, having everyone present there the college principal, faculty members and the seniors, as it was a formal  function at IHM Mumbai. Coming to the question, it was not one of the things that I ever wanted to happen though. There'd be no competition as I'd have been everything- Miss Universe, Miss World and whatever Misses there are...... come to think of it that'd have also made me the only Miss..... Cool!!... absolutely not!!!  the most uncool thing to think of even in the wildest of thoughts.

A man complements and supplements you but its the girl friend that supports you and keeps you sane. They understand you and they teach you so much about life in general and boys, boy friends and men in particular!

All I needed to know about life I learnt from my girlfriends won't be wrong at all.The friendship starts right from the time one goes to school, the nursery through the kindergarten, to school, high school, college and then the workplace. Some friendships we keep and some slip into time even without us noticing it. Every friendship has its own charm. Different things are shared in each one of them. All of us go through these friendships and learn our lessons from the girl friends we have had.

Then we have the first man outside our family or blood relation forming an integral part of our lives, the husband. Marriage may take the lady away from all familiar settings and surroundings. She builds her life all over again, at times. Again its the company of friends who have been a part of that culture and setting that make her comfortable with her new life. The transition is smooth because there was a woman who made it comfortable for her. It could be the mother in law, the sister in law, the women in the new neighbourhood or wives of husband's colleagues.

I come from the defence background and have seen the importance of NWWA (Naval Wives Welfare Association), AWWA as the Army wives would call it and AFWWA for the Airforce wives. These are not just women's associations or clubs but have a huge role to play in the lives of the defence personnel. The men are in the service of the nation ready to move and relocate just in a couple of hours, at times the notice can be even shorter. Who takes care of the family behind or old parents away in another city or village? Who forms the liaison in times of emergency? Its these associations. The brave men who have to leave their families behind to attend the call of the nation can do so with ease as they know that everything will be taken care of my the strong support of the women. On a lighter note, NWWA was also called the BBC as the news travelled faster in those circles. 

I find myself a part of a similar association, it is not a formal one as the defence wives association but has been formed with the efforts of a lady who has been a part of the fraternity for very long  The Merchant naval officers wives have lives very similar to the that of the defence wives and no support whatsoever. She can get in touch with the shipping office but can't connect the way she would with other women like her. In fact I was pleasantly surprised to see that my husband's company,Fleet Management had their officer's wives community page on Facebook the Elegant Divas Club..Fleet Management. I can't tell you how happy I was to see that. It reminded me of the essence of NWWA. I immediately became a part of it and congratulated the creator of the group Mrs. Renuka Nayar. Infact I called her up and spoke to her, she made me so comfortable this I speak for not just myself but the other ladies as well. This was the space where we shared not just our concerns but also a lot more. We became friends and helped each other when the timely advice was needed. Formed a support group for each other. We became buddies and Sisters! There is a buzz on the group right from, Good mornings to wishing and being a part of important occasions like birthdays, anniversaries and the likes. So the wife may not have heard from her mariner hubby but will be wished by her friends here. Its nice to note that at times they take guidance and help regarding foreign travels or joining their husband's onboard. A place where we visit every time we log onto the social networking sites.

Now we have taken the girls group even closer to each other, we have formed the group on Whatsapp. This has become our 24x7 helpline. There are women who would want to know whats to be given to their ailing child even in the middle of the night, someone will get back to them. They get the support of others when the sign off their husbands is getting delayed or they have some emergency at home. There are the others waiting to lend their unconditional support. We don't just talk serious stuff here we have the silly jokes times, the photosharing and fishing for compliments times in equal doses.We laugh, we cry, we crib, we joke but above all we are at home in the company of the ladies our sistas!

The group has women from other cities too and its nice to share the happenings in each others cities, in their lives and also in the clubs. I am certainly looking forward to the club meet soon where I shall see the women I interact with almost on a daily basis. I guess after the group is formed the sailing hubbies do not hear so much from their cribbing wives and also the company office gets lesser phone calls from the worried wives of the sailing officers. This is called killing  two birds with a single stone. One women have got the 24 hour channel not just to socialise but also to vent. A lot of concerns can be managed at the micro level. I feel this is certainly a fabulous platform.

So sistas if you aren't a part of it come onboard you'll be received with open arms and warm hearts.

With love, to Ms. Renuka Nayar for creating the fab group Elegant Divas Club...... Fleet Management and ofcourse all the Divas!

Pictures are taken from Google with due credits.

Navratri -9 Days of Maa Durga!

Navratri the time of the year when I  get transported to another world, a world thats full of hope, love, peace and ( I believe so!) In the past couple of years I have been dedicating a post on my blog to Maa, Goddess Durga. This year too let me touch another aspect of my life that revolves around Maa.

Navratri is a festival dedicated to the worship of Maa Shakti, Goddess Durga or Parvati as she is lovinly called by her beloved devotees.  The word Navratri means 9 nights in Sanskrit. During these nine nights and ten days, nine forms of Goddess Durga , are worshiped.  It is believed that Maa Durga visits earth during these pious days. The 10th day is celebrated as Vijayadashmi or Dussehra. 

How we prepare for welcoming Maa at our home? 

The preparations begin much before the actual Navratras. 

Cleaning the house- Cleanliness is next to Godliness as it is rightly said. The misssion begins atleast two weeks in advance with spring cleaning of the house. My mother in law's pet project. She plans everything to the T.

Mother in law and her group of friends follow the ritual of doing kirtans (prayer meets) during the 9 days. The ladies book the day when they want kirtan at their homes. They invite women from their neighbourhood to attend the puja, Decorate their 'Maa ka darbar'- place to worship Goddess, sing bhajans, distribute prashad and gifts to the ladies. Worship, celebrate and seek blessings of Maa Durga.

The first Navratri puja is at our home, where we expect around 50 women to attend. It is certainly one of the biggest events in my family. Just love the way my mother in law diligently prepares for it. Over the years it is more like a routine that we follow. In fact festivals are a way of keeping the hopes, hopes of tomorrow being better. In India we celebrate many festivals, they also keep women and the older people busy throughout the year. Busy in things that they love doing. Parents expect their sons and daughter would visit them in case they don't love together.
Preparations begin with the shopping list. The following items feature on the list:

1. Chunni (decorated dupatta) for Devi Maa and other things that form part of her shringar (dressing and ornaments)

2. Mathe ki patti - The narrow ribbon with "Jai Mata Di" written on it that women wear aound their foreheads during the Pooja.

3. Items to make prashad - dryfruits such as almonds, cashew, dates, raisins, peanuts, ramdana (sweet found in dry prashad), makhane and dry coconut.

4. Cardamom, clove, aniseed, mishri (crystallised sugar)

5. Shringar to be given to all the ladies attending the puja - henna, sindoor, bindi, nailpolish, kajal and a gift can be a household utensil, a towel, tray, bowl or anything that one wants to give away.

6. Fruits for the Puja and also to be given in the prashad - generally 5 different types of fruits are kept in the puja such as apples, pears, bananas, orange or sweet lime, pomegranate etc. 

7. Coconut to be given to all the ladies.

8. Milk seasoned with cardamom and almond to be offered to the ladies as a lot of them fast during this period and may not have tea or other snacks or beverages.

9. Curd - to make the panchamrut (5 nectars - milk, curd, honey, sugar and ghee), required to be offered to the deity and also all present. 

10. Kalash - lota (water pictcher), mango leaves (7/9),Coconut.

11. Kalava/ Mouli - Roll of the thread generally tied on the wrist of all the devotees.

12. Haldi kumkum and akshat - sindoor, termeric and rice sued to do the tika of the deity and the ladies.

13. Diya to light in front of Goddess Durga

14. Diya for arti

15. Flowers and garlands for the puja.

 The items are purchased in stages and kept ready for the puja. In fact perishables are bought just a day prior.

The First Navratra

The day begins with decorating the 'Mata ka darbar', where an idol or a large picture of Devi Maa is placed for worship and making arrangements to accommodate about 50 ladies. It is generally our living room, the sofas are adjusted or moved and we make place on the floor, covering it with Rugs,daris and carpets so that everyone can be seated comfortably.

In the temple, the kalash is made and placed. Jau or barley is sown, that grows during this time and used for puja on Dussehra, that falls on the 10th day.. The temple is decorated with garlands and flowers. Diya is lit, this is the 'akhand jyot' that will light for the 9 days.

We generally fast during this period. The kirtan starts at 3pm and goes on till 6, singing Devi bhajans and distributing prashad. Its also an occasion to meet and catch up with everyone. Festivals are after all an opportunity to celebrate the company of family and friends.

The  Navratri colours for 2014 are:

 Pratipada - September 25 2014 (Thursday) - Yellow

Dwitiya - September 26 2014 (Friday) - Green

Tritiya - September 27 2014 (Saturday)- Grey

Chaturthi - September 28 2014 (Sunday) -Orange 

Panchami -September 29 2014 (Monday) -White 

Sashti - September 30 2014(Tuesday) - Red

Saptami -October 1 2014 (Wednesday) - Blue

Ashtami - October 2 2014 (Thursday) - Pink

Navami -October 3 2014 (Friday) - Purple

Home maker or a career woman - As you like it!

Just the other day I was checking my facebook page, was logging in after 4-5 days and had lots to catch up on, as far as updates from friends were concerned. While going through a profile found something that caught my attention and that later made a great discussion. Won't call it a debate as this wasn't face to face and no one was catching anyone else's neck! But the opinions shared by different people indeed were very interesting and that's what led me to write this post. Even before you read it, let me apologise in case it touches a wrong chord with you. But let me also add that some facts are pretty uncomfortable.... we must not turn away from reality right? Now that I have made myself a bit clear (and not to be chewed up by some of my dear friends).... please read on!

No offence meant but am a bit curious, when women who are home-makers write/declare their professions as," Stay at Home Mom and loving it." and similar others.... whereas the ones who are professionally employed do not write, " I am so and so and loving it!" 

Ofcourse, its a tough job especially when the children are younger. Some were quick to say that it was just a cover-up for their insecurity. If the column asked to list their profession, that's all they needed to do. Adding on how they felt about it was petty. It's similar to women announcing how they were proud to be women, as if men were not happy and proud to be who they were!! 

This is plain logical isn't it? But social media is ones own personal space that one wishes to share with his or her friends. 

The point here is why SAHM had expressions such as, " I am loving it, This is the best thing to do and am proud of it, I am my own manager and CEO" are just a few of them. 

Maybe in spite of it being such a tough and responsible job SAHMs really do enjoy it not the same could be said about the others at all times. A friend was quick to add that These were self obsessed words. People often used such vocabulary /content to over shadow their actual roles. Those who do it ,and are not sure if that's what they should be doing use adjectives like these. Whereas the ones who love it stay calm, enjoy and you can see it when sometimes they share the moments of that joy.

A friend who has been a SAHM as well as a full timer on job said, "there is nothing to love about being at home and I speak for myself. You enjoy watching the kids grow alright but there are moments of frustration and of not earning despite being educated. I have always been a happier and more tolerable person whenever I have worked.You can ask my husband and kids".

A more experienced lady had to say this,"Lets not blame them they indeed are trying to prove some point, that they may not be earning money but their SAHM job demands respect and recognition...unfortunately our society is yet to accord them thus. We may consider their tag line 'and am loving it' SHAM but it's an effort to assert their individuality. No offence meant but to see your kids grow in front of you is sheer delight, to wait for them when they get back from school or when your husband gets back home from work may also be a way of life and that too a happy and interesting one! we do get judgemental at times and hence this struggle for identity."

Yes agreed but sometimes staying at home is a privilege that not all can enjoy or afford it. Living in cities and having to deal with the monster of "price rise" it sometimes demands both the husband and wife to take up professional careers to earn their living. A friend who has been a SAHM said that it was a thankless job and some day say it just to convince themselves. 

To each his own I've seen a classic example of someone taking credit for the kids school results by throwing lines like ,"today the benefits of having given up a career and opting to be a SAHM are clearly visible " to a working mom whose child did equally good.

As career women we have to give our 100% everywhere, be it work or at home. Somewhere we still get branded, at work it is said that the women have their family over careers and at home its the other way round. So we need to state and prove our priorities no matter where we have reached in your careers.

As individuals we all have our own insecurities. A stay at home mother may want to validate her decision when she says something like that, similarly a mother with a professional career may want to validate her decision in some other manner. May be the options available for each are different and hence the expression is different. But neither of them need any validation from anyone. There is no need to justify anything. We need a big heart to understand that. Our decisions are our own, it is not a judgement on anyone else-A mother is a mother....simple!

A friend who gave up her career shared this, " I think leaving your job to be a home maker is not an easy task at all especially if you are with your in laws. The only sunny side, to console yourself is that you are taking care of your children as per your plans and are not dependent on anyone. Other wise you are financially so dependent that all your creativity goes for a toss."

You better love what you do, whether SAHM or a working woman! If you do not then CHANGE!! Its not as important to anyone else whether you're "loving it or not!" The best place to be in is, have a choice to the above, power is in choices.

Pictures are taken from google

The Independence Day Ride with a Pledge!

Brotherhood of REO ride again this Independence day with road safety in their minds and requesting all to pledge 'organ and eye' donation.

My favourite people - my brothers and sisters the REO (Royal Enfield Owners) ride again for a cause, close to all our hearts! The REO ride, where the thump becomes the heartbeat!, rode this Independence Day, 15^th August 2014 from Vashi to Karnala Sports Academy, Panvel. The ride carried the message of “Safety and enhancing it by Eye and organ donation” cause supported by Shekhar Naidu Memorial Foundation setup by his parents in memory of Shekhar Naidu, who passed away in a road accident early this year in Pune. The foundation takes up many social causes be it educational scholarships, healthcare, old age homes, orphanages or setting up libraries to name a few and REO riders come in full support whenever needed. Noteworthy is the fact that Shekar Naidu’s parents have adopted  twin girls and are taking care of them as well as their education, thus setting and living a great example.

http://www.shekharmemorialfoundation.com/

The event was a much awaited one not only by the riders but also the general public in Mumbai & Navi Mumbai. Bullet riders assembled at Center One Mall, Vashi at 7am , by 8.30 am the riders joined the flag hosting ceremony at Assam Bhavan followed by ride flag off,  more than 1200  Royal Enfield Riders participated in this prestigious event. Special guests at the event were Royal Enfield rider from Pune Lt. Col. Sohan Roy (Retd) & Sanjay Naidu founder of Shekhar Naidu Memorial Foundation, who were in the city to participate in the Independence Day Ride with the support of  Royal Enfield Riders and paying their tribute to their fellow brother rider late, Shekhar Naidu.

The beast, Royal Enfield Bullet, is not just to pump the adrenalin rush but it makes the rider responsible, disciplined, follow brotherhood and take up social causes in a big, organized way! Nigel Rich and Steven Miranda are members of REO& other Royal Enfield Clubs, who spearhead the rides with the support of other riders.They have organized many rallies in the past. Their ‘Republic Day Rally’, ‘Independence Day Ride’ and the ‘One Ride’ in the first week of April are yearly events that carry social messages. The rides are received very well by the people, their last year Republic day Ride had a message to stop violence against women, Road safety was the message for another ride that they organized. They are cheered on with enthusiasm and have their own fan following now.

We see youngsters misusing the powerful bikes leading to accidents due to rash riding. The highways and super highways and decent roads that provide great driving experience, see such accidents almost everyday. The statistics support this, During 2008, Road Traffic Injuries (RTI) ranked fourth among the leading causes of death in the world. Nearly 1.3 million people die every year on the world's roads and 20 to 50 million people suffer non-fatal injuries, with many sustaining a disability as a result of their injury.  Road traffic injuries are the leading cause of death among young people aged 15-29 years and cost countries 1-3% of the gross domestic product (GDP).

Ninety-one percent of the world's fatalities on the roads occur in low-income and middle-income countries, even though these countries have approximately half of the world's vehicles. Half of those dying on the world's roads are 'vulnerable road users': Pedestrians, cyclists, and motorcyclists. Only 28 countries, representing 416 million people (7% of the world's population), have adequate laws that address all five behavioural risk factors (speed, drink-driving, helmets, seat-belts, and child restraints). If no action is taken, road traffic crashes are predicted to result in the deaths of around 1.9 million people annually by 2020. Hence the goal of the United Nations' Decade of Action for Road Safety 2011- 2020 is to save five million lives. 

In India, the motor vehicle population is growing at a faster rate than the economic and population growth. The surge in motorization coupled with expansion of the road network has brought with it the challenge of addressing adverse factors such as the increase in road accidents. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), road traffic injuries are the sixth leading cause of death in India with a greater share of hospitalization, deaths, disabilities and socio-economic losses in the young and middle-aged population. Road traffic injuries also place a huge burden on the health sector in terms of pre-hospital and acute care and rehabilitation. 

The Bikers, through these rallies carry the message that safety and responsible riding provide the thrill and excitement of biking making the experience enjoyable and fulfilling. Speed needs to be supported with a sense of safety and responsibility.The rules they follow makes everyone to adhere to the each one of them to the T, thus making it a habit for everyone, sensitizing and educating the youngsters on road safety, check the following:

Rules that the bikers follow for the ride :-

1. Be on time for the ride.

2. Helmet for the rider and the pillion is compulsory and carry riding gears (if any).

3. Shoes or boots compulsory for the rider.

4. No overtaking amongst each other. 

5. No rash riding during the ride/ rally.

6. No breaking file, ride in a file of 2.

7. No violence during the ride.

8. Always follow the bike which is ahead of you, all the way through the rally. 

9. Headlights will be full time on.

10. Every rider should carry valid driving license along with all necessary documents.

11. Ensure that the Royal Enfield is well serviced to avoid a break down during the ride. 

     Violation of any of the above rules will disqualify the rider and he can be asked to retire from the ride. It’s a habit that can be inculcated at an early age and make road safety a way of life! 

Special mention is due to the following 

This ride was led by female riders, Betsy Miranda, Privana Shetty, Aashwani Marathe, Reena Jadhav and Nisha Rathod.

Wings Commanders: Hozefa Gilitwala, Atul Vig, Raji Shah, Pravin Yadhav, Christopher Nadar, Biren Chapaneri, Karan Sharma ,Carl Gawli, Vinod Rawat, Milind Bidave, Rakesh Pujari, Sanjay Nair, Rajiv Nair,  Suraj Lazar, Saniel Sonawane, Bhatar Choudhary, Akshay Awhad, Amrit Pal Singh and Mohit Khanna

The riders thank Mrs. Roy, Mrs. Naidu and their entire team.

Data Ref: Manisha Ruikar, National statistics of road traffic accidents in India