Do women get things easier?... just by being who they are!

Why can’t we take a woman seriously?.... why does she need to prove herself often  and scream every now and then to be heard.

I am certainly not a feminist and neither am I taking about gender bias here… its just a matter of fact observation that I have made over the years and wish to put it on paper today (post on my blog!). A walk down the memory lane....

We are three siblings, I have a younger brother and a sister, while growing up dad always treated us sisters like princesses, never scolded us even if we made a mistake. But he was pretty strict with our brother. Dad was extremely protective about us… he still is. I remember when we were in Kochi, we used get a medical team visiting all homes to collect blood samples from the family members to test for malaria and filaria. They would generally come after 9 pm. We, the sisters were scared of the pain .... dad would hide us somewhere in the house and not allow the med guys to even know that there were more people in the house.  Mom wouldn't approve of it... but dad was always with us!. 

Today when I look back, being a mother now, wouldn't do that with my kids... again my kids are both boys, would it have been different if they were girls? I guess it wouldn't be. But I certainly can't be sure.

In school during the primary years, the girls were the more studious types, I am not talking about intelligence here...Girls were more into giving time to their studies, paying attention in the class and participating in the Co curricular activities (they liked to be in the good books of their teachers) whereas boys were more into the playground, spending more of their time and energies there whenever they could manage a little beak. They would even have a match or two of football after school. Academically the girls might have done better but boys scored on the all round development.

During the secondary and high school days, things start to change, boys too get serious in the class room activities, I speak in a general term here, I mean the majority of them, some are serious right from the kindergarten! The results and ranking in the class start having more boys on the list. During the junior college years I guess the seriousness or maturity, (is about the same in both the genders), The results are also similar (if they matter!). At this stage the priority starts to change in both the genders. Boys might head for the technical streams like engineering, medicine etc whereas more girls would choose the humanities and similar as their field for higher education. Any professional college you visit, there will be more boys than the girls in every batch. In India, this is also a kind of 'the face' of the society where women don't get the opportunities to go for higher studies, reasons can be socio-economic or any other from the array of issues. Many drop out of undergrad programmes, as they choose to get married or are asked to settle down at the right time(!?).. This is more prevalent in the rural areas and smaller towns. Metropolitan cities more or less are out of this stereotype.

During my college days, the ratio of girls to boys in my class was 1:5 as it was a professional course and not many girls were there taking it up. The boys always felt that it was easier for the girls, what I feel today, looking back is, it wasn't easier at all, the girls had to face a lot of opposition and challenges to be where they were and doing what they were.... the time was different then. Hotel Management was meant to be a course for the cooks .... chefs weren't celebrities then. What people didn't know is that there were 10 subjects in the first year, 14 in the second year and 10 again in the third year, that the students had to learn. The subjects were chosen from the faculty of Science, Commerce and Humanities and Management. Scoring wasn't like making an omelette! It was tough... I graduated from the institute that was considered to be the numero uno in the country.  

During campus interviews would often hear the boys saying, "Oh you'll get through, just by being a girl, there are so few of you getting through won't be difficult at all, you just need to smile." Didn't like that at all, we girls were among the toppers in the batch, worked equally hard, slogged during our internship... this was the least that we expected to hear. No one made things easier for us at any stage but everyone felt it was easier for us, as we were girls....

During the initial years of her career  a woman has to work on the double to enjoy her 'space' of being a career woman and putting in best efforts... not denying the fact that the men do that too. 

Then comes the domesticity, you could be a career woman so what? that's your choice. Home and family is also yours. I am not complaining here, again something that I often hear from girl friends and women colleagues. For a woman its, being good, both at home and at the work place. The balance has to be perfect otherwise there are accusations from both the sides. Sometimes that can lead to a lot of stress... again she needs to manage that. Does she get anything easier... just by being a woman?

The other day I was talking to a friend about the women's world cup cricket thats being held in India this year. There was hardly anything in the media, there weren't many spectators on the stands either... pat came the reply from him, "Oh has to do with their uniform". I was aghast! Do they need to wear something else to pull crowds? Can't people come to watch a good game of cricket, does it make a difference that the players are women. C'mon!!.......Can we say that the cheerleaders get the crowds for the IPL matches!! Definitely Not....

Even for events like the prestigious Wimbledon, the women tennis players had to fight to get equal prize money. I guess they get the same amount since 2007. Now some argue that men should be paid more as they stay on the court longer and play more sets.

Men and women are physically different in terms of strength and so are they when it comes to endurance. That shouldn't be the comparison ever, other things being equal.

Theres a saying, 'Don't judge my path if you haven't walked my journey!' It applies to an individual and is not specific to a particular gender.It is certainly not fair to say that women get things easier..... but its for the individuals to decide.

PS

I'll keep with my promise of writing about Abhilash Tomy in my posts till he is back from his historic voyage.

(Abhilash Tomy is attempting to be the first Indian on a solo non stop unassisted circumnavigation of the globe)

I have been following his voyage and getting to know a more 'mature' him, 'an officer and a gentleman' through his updates on his page and reading his blog posts. Today he celebrates his birthday. He has the vast Atlantic and his favourite boat the Mhadei for company that is taking him closer to the Cape of Good Hope, thats the next major point on his voyage. 

Wishing the skipper a very happy birthday!

To know more about Lt. Cdr Tomy and his boat the Mhadei, follow the link below.

Check: www.sagarparikrama2.blogspot.com

            www.Facebook.com/www.mhadei.co.in