How love happened to us......

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.~ Lao Tzu

It was 2004, I was focusing on my career and education and not really looking at marriage. Parents had asked me to tell them if I had someone in mind, what they wanted to know was if I was seeing someone. I didn’t and I told them so. It went on for a couple of years, parents always respected my choice never forcing me to accept a proposal just like that. One fine day, since I wasn't talking about anyone to my parents they fixed a meeting with Rajesh, through my mother’s friend circle. We both are from the defence background and our mothers had common friends. He was invited to our place with his parents. After tea with family the elders asked both of us to go to my room and speak to each other. Funny but this is how it is in arranged marriages in India!

We both were casually dressed, just being ourselves nothing to impress anyone, and we got talking. He was frank and spoke everything  negative that he thought he had. I was told that he was a Physics graduate, a First officer in the Merchant Navy and the eldest of his siblings. Extremely intelligent, having a good personality and very down to earth. I was weighing him on all those parameters. What made me really pay attention to him was that he didn’t speak of any of his positive qualities, or any 'quality' for that matter!  He only highlighted negatives about him and his profession which was so contrary to the usual talk of saying all things nice. I found him interesting and of course different…. No sparks flew!

After the meeting, mom asked me about Rajesh and I told her that he was okay. She would’ve conveyed it to his mother. Then I didn’t hear anything of him. Our mothers felt that we were a good match and were trying to push things from their side, he went sailing and I was back into my routine work. I didn’t feel like seeing any other 'proposal' read it as another gentleman, after that. Then, one fine day in the month of April while I was on my way to work, mom called me to say that Rajesh’s mother had called and that they both thought  we should get engaged that Friday, 22^nd  April 2004. I wasn’t pleased and I started arguing with her that I was working as a Lecturer in a professional college and it was exam time, how could I manage a leave? She started highlighting that it was a nice proposal and started complaining that I didn’t listen to her, the usual emotional talk. Giving in, I told her that I would try. On reaching college I walked straight to the principal’s office requesting for leave that Friday saying that I was getting engaged and that even I got to know just then! We made some changes in the practical schedule and I got the leave sanctioned. In the evening my brother and I were going looking for a venue for the engagement. As we were driving, my brother  asked me whether I was happy. I told him that it was," Okay"….he stopped the car , told me what else did I want, being from the shipping industry himself he said that Rajesh was a great guy, he had a good personality, he was earning well and he was a fabulous human being. It should not be just okay but I should feel happy about it. I accepted that and my confused mind started to settle a bit.... Probably this was the first platinum moment for me!... special indeed.

We fixed a venue for our engagement, mothers were very happy as our horoscopes had matched perfectly. Everyone was gearing up for the engagement. I called up my friends and told them that I was getting engaged in 3 days. Everyone was surprised but happy for me at the same time. Finally I met my would- be on our engagement day. It was a traditional ceremony with family and close friends. At the time of exchanging rings we found that the sizes were not correct, mine was a bit too tight and his a bit loose. This could have been the result of exchanging the ring sizes on phone, later got to know that the jewellers do not have standard or universal ring sizes and there can be variations. I loved my ring, a nice diamond band but it didn't fit well...in fact we don't wear those rings, they are kept safely! 

He had to join back on work in the first week of May. I didn't even go to see him off at the airport, we just spoke on the phone. When he reached the vessel, he sent me the vessel email address and we started communicating through emails. Not too many as the vessel internet was with the captain and others received a print out of their emails.I would wait to hear from him, would read the sms that he would send while at a port, over and over again; in fact my phone couldn’t store so much of data so I started writing all the sms in a diary. This was platinum moment two!

He came back home after 4 months. Our wedding date was fixed for December 14^th 2005. This was our real courtship we learnt almost everything about each other, about our families and thefriendship grew into trust and love. I also got to know that he too had met a few of the 'proposals' that had come for him and that nothing created that ‘wow’ moment. When his mother asked him to meet me, he had said that I was the last girl he was seeing. He often teases me with, save the best for the last! I thank God for being that ‘last girl'. Finally the D- day arrived and we had one of the perfect weddings! Typical North Indian affair going into several days. As I moved into his home I found our room to be a replica of my room in my parent's house. I was touched beyond words, Rajesh had got the room renovated to make it look just like the one that I was used to living in. That was my platinum moment three!
When I saw the new Asian paints ad recently where they show Capt. Rathore's house, I felt that Capt. Todiwan did that way back in 2005. I felt that I knew everything in my new home as we had talked about it all. Though we are from different communities, the differences were hardly felt. We were blessed with our elder son Arnnav in 2006 and the younger one, Abhinav was born in 2009.

We got busy with our lives, didn't realise how time flew....  Captain sails four months, when he is away from home the communication is generally through emails, now he has the vessel internet so no print outs! He also calls through satellite phone when the vessel is in the mid seas and through calling cards while at a port. This time, he arranged WiFi on board and we chatted on Skype for the first time... this was certainly platinum moment four! 

Yes, we have come a long way indeed from the humble, far and between sms to talking on skype. It was such a pleasure to see my husband onboard going about his regular errands and also getting to see his office and cabin. These things may sound just a matter of fact but for me they are the platinum moments. 

We don't wear our engagement rings but this time when Captain is back home, I shall get the platinum love bands celebrating the eternal love, trust and friendship that we share and that shall be our Platinum Day of Love! We have had numerous platinum moments as these are the little things that make a relationship beautiful.

This post is written for IndiBlogger Platinum Day of Love

Picture 1. - Rajesh and I on Arnnav's 5th birthday
Picture 2 - Capt. Rajesh Todiwan, onboard the vessel.