“This is a woman’s job! Men can’t
be doing it….” How often have you heard this? I am sure a lot of times. There
are stereotype roles for both men and women. Women take care of the home, bring
up children and manage the kitchen. Men on the other hand earn and provide for
the family. They are supposed to run the outdoor errands. This has been the
role-play traditionally followed; probably it came from times when the man was a
hunter. Times have changed and roles have followed a drastic alteration from
the ancient times. Have we really moved on and adapted to the changes? Needless to say traditional gender role model
may work for some couples but mostly with both the partners having their
careers, especially talking about urban areas; it’s not the best option.
Villages have their own set of issues. I have seen the women there stretch
themselves beyond all boundaries. They manage their home, children, families
and also take up something to supplement the family income. All praises for
them but it’d be so much easier if they got the due support especially from
their better halves. I may not be correct here but it has been an observation.
Just the other day, I met an old
student of mine, who is a young mother and has a full time demanding job too. I
asked her how she was doing and how was life at this juncture. She had lost a
lot of weight and looked much older than her age. She shared her daily routine
with me and how managing the home, young child and career was a huge challenge
for her. She did everything from preparing breakfast, keeping things ready for
the child for the entire day, going to work, coming back home in the evening,
preparing dinner and finally calling it a day after doing the dishes and
everyone had gone to sleep. This was the story the entire week. When asked
about getting help at home, she said that she had a very loving husband but he
didn’t contribute to any household chores, not even taking the child out to
play. She also said that the decision to have a career was all hers so she had
to deal with it. I could identify with what she said, that’s the story of a lot
of career women. It also saddened me with their plight.
I am so blessed to have a
supporting family for which I shall always be very grateful. Coming to think of
it, I guess families create cultures that they operate in. My mother in law is
a very strong lady; she believes in doing her own things rather than depending
on others. She inculcated in her children, especially her sons the need to help
around, even doing the household chores. She had work given to everyone, the results
of that kind of upbringing are clear to see. All help is there from my husband
when he is home, we work like equals and we are a team!
It is important in all
relationships to balance things out and share responsibilities. No one feels
taken for granted. When we value each other, it is shown through the little
things that we do for each other. Helping around preparing a meal, getting the
children ready for school, making the beds, setting the washing machine or
getting that cup of tea after a long day of work really goes a long way. Such
gestures not only show that the husband values you as an individual but also
makes the bond of love stronger. These little things that we share do proclaim
love, caring and appreciation for one another.
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