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Wednesday 26 February 2014

Countdown to countdown - Day 3




I thought I found a good place to stay for a great bike ride, but I found a great place to stay by a bike path. ~ Mike and Vicki

We are only 3 days away from Dream live to get into the 100 day countdown. A lot is going on in our minds, Bharadwaj Dayala did peep out a couple of times during the day from his hibernation but still his 48 hours solitude is on. What has he worked on we'll get to know real soon. In the mean while my mind has been occupied by something serious and it'll be wrong on my part if I don't share it here. This can be the story of any ordinary couple or any extra ordinary biker couple. I really don't want to spoil the cheer that's going on but I also wish you all to think, pause and revamp if you have come across something similar. Lets not run way from the issue but see how we can tackle it the best.

Apologise for bringing up something that's not concerning Dream Live, but its concerning human lives and relationships, so I am taking the liberty. Thanks for your patience!

I don't live in dreamland, I live in land of dreams.
~Anna Pereira

This weekend I met a very old friend of mine. We had an emotional chat, she was telling me about  a good friend of hers who she respected immensely.She sounded a bit disturbed when she told me that this friend was married had a 6 year old child but was staying away from her husband for the past couple of years.  She told me that both the husband and wife were well placed, doing very well for themselves but they were very different as individuals. The woman is homely and the man is adventurous, into biking, photography and the outdoors. This can be any couple. Infact know quite a few of them in our own circles.
They got married after good courtship days, both families are also in good terms, whatever that's supposed to mean! The marriage became stressful due to the different interests that these people followed. The woman tried committing suicide but was saved somehow. Now looking at her young child she decided to separate from her husband, shifted into a rented apartment. Not even staying with her own parents. Husband too took an assignment in another city and moved away.

Not a pleasant thing to happen I can understand, it must be difficult not just for the couple but for their families too. Here, what is the main concern? I see the interests and passions the couple follow  are very diverse. There are differences in all couples but there's a need to work a middle ground, an adjustment from both the parties. Such things need to be made clear before even considering marriage. It should never be  a hasty decision. No one goes in for a short term marriage, one looks at the bond to be permanent, making both the individuals feel settled. 

Marriage is a beautiful relationship bringing two individuals together. It is not about looking at each other but looking in the same direction. It also needs its space, otherwise can lead to suffocation. Individuals are bound to be different, even twins no matter how identical they are, will never be alike in their mental or emotional constitution. 

While I am recollecting the conversation that I had with my sister, I am thinking about the biker brigade, the guys who are so passionate about adventure, their bikes and love the brotherhood. Do they face something like my sister's colleague?May be may not be. But marriage is a commitment and everything has to be shared the responsibilities and even the individual's passions have to be married. The man cannot say that he loves his passion of biking and photography and is out every weekend. Similarly the lady cannot say that there's so much to do at home and ask the man to be with her and tag along every where. Respect and time for each other is required and so is the time for following ones passions and having that 'ME' time!

Choices are to be made and not forced on anyone. That's respect for the other person and also for the relationship. So bikers need not be permanent members of the singles club. Its a personal choice no doubt.
A key to happy marriage: Keeping separate lives
While a lot of independence can lead to either infidelity or workaholism, can be a marriage breaker. But too much dependence isn't the answer either. people need to have a separate life and existence to feel validated as individuals, one can't live solely as somebody's partner isn't it. (Ref. Web MD)

Respect the other half and his/ her dreams, the fun is in fulfilling the dreams together, standing besides each other.


Would love to hear your dream stories. A lot of us believe in the magic of that secret. 
Tell us your stories too and will share them with others, you never know when someone gets inspired and your story changes a life.
Follow #DreamLive to witness how dreams become reality. Bharadwaj Dayala, the first Indian to go around the world on a motorcycle, will show us how to live our own dreams by realising his dream of riding from Russia to South Africa, Dream Live takes off in just 100 days from 1st March 2014,starting with nothing.  He'll then help 12 to 24 passionate bikers to live their dream of riding in a foreign country by getting sponsors for them.

DreamLive: Dare to dream and care to achieve it.
https://www.facebook.com/BJsDreamLive
@letsdreamlive

Picture courtesy : Sanjay Nair and Why We Ride.,

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